HANTEI XXIII PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK
Matsu Agetoki Most Likely to Succeed	Sanzo Ugliest Horse	Toku Most Likely to be Devoured by an Oni.

Road Trip

And I'm like, "Yeah, Sanzo. I know your family was eaten by zombies. Okay, so whose family *HASN'T* been eaten by zombies, huh?"

And Sanzo would just get quiet.

Anyway, I promise this'll be my last Sanzo story for today and this one's about the road trip...

Okay it was our senior year and Sanzo and Agetoki and Toku and me were trying to decide what to do for senior skip day (it wasn't the real skip day since that one's for dorks but just a day we all picked when we didn't have any tests).

And Sanzo says, "Man, we could go bowling."

And I say, "I hate bowling," and Agetoki says "Yeah, me too," and that settles that.

So I say, "Well, why don't we go to Six Flags (over Mid-Rokugan)?"

"Eh, we skip and go there all the time," Sanzo said, and that was true so I just nodded.

And Toku says, "Let's go to the zoo."

And Sanzo says, "What?"

And Toku says, "The zoo. That would be fun."

And Sanzo says, "What the hell are you talking about, you geek?"

And Toku gets a little crestfallen and looks around and says, "Well, I like the zoo. We can draw monkeys and scope out chicks."

"Monkeys?" Sanzo replied.

"We can go to the zoo any day," I interrupted, stemming the argument before it inevitably led to Toku being beaten up by Agetoki, "We gotta do something big."

"Road Trip," Agetoki said simply.

And there you have it. It was decided.

We decided to go to the Doji Crossroads, which is pretty cool since they've got like the world's biggest mall there and a big water slide and White Zombie would be in town that week and Toku said he could get us all tickets. So it got up to the day we were gonna leave and we were all excited and Sanzo kept complaining cause he was afraid Toku would tell somebody and spoil the whole thing. It turns out Toku didn't, he was looking forward to it like the rest of us and he actually came through with the tickets too.

So we loaded up the horses and Sanzo and Agetoki played rock-paper-katana to see who would have to drive Toku and Sanzo got all mad and wanted a rematch so Agetoki slugged him in the shoulder and that shut him up. We went to the local 5-11 and picked up some soda and some sushi jerky sticks and we were off.

We stopped at the rest stops to meet up and walk around and compare directions and at this one we met this really weird guy. He was all dirty and scruffy and he said his name was Shinjo Tashima but he was pretty funky smelling for a Unicorn. So he said his horse broke down and he needed a ride to the Crossroads and of course Toku said "okay" and Sanzo said he wasn't gonna drive the guy, and Agetoki said he sure as heck wasn't and he beat Toku up.

I'm not sure why he did that. Agetoki seemed to do that to Toku a lot.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm boring all of you with this story. If anybody wants to hear the rest of it, put up a post and let me know, otherwise, my fingers are starting to crab up. hehehe. Crab. Get it?

Yasuki Garou
Crab Clan Ratling Wrangler

Hey.

This is Garou. A couple of you seemed like you wanted to hear the rest of my road trip to the Doji Plains so here it is...

Anyway, I was standing around in the rest stop with Sanzo, Toku, and Matsu Agetoki trying to figure out what to do (since Toku had invited this scruffy hichhiker guy named Tashima to ride with us and nobody else wanted to bring him). So Tashima walks up to us and he says, "So are you gonna give me a ride or what?"

"No," Agetoki said.

"Why not?" Tashima whined.

"Cause you're a freak," Agetoki said.

"Hey, my horse just broke down on the road," he argued, "I'm not a bum or nuthin'. I got money."

"How much?" asked Sanzo.

Tashima fiddled around in his pockets. "About ten koku. You can have it if you guys give me a ride."

"Okey dokey," Sanzo said taking the money.

So we got back on the horses and pulled onto the highway again and the rest of the ride was pretty cool but then I got to ride with Agetoki and he had a bitchin stereo. I heard from Sanzo later that he hated the whole ride. None of them could agree on a radio station and the horse was really crowded with three people and Tashima smelled really funny and Toku kept complaining that he had to go to the bathroom.

Anyway, we pulled up at the Holiday Inn where we were gonna stay and we got there like an hour before Sanzo did because he doesn't have as nice of a cavalry trait as Agetoki does so we brought our stuff up to the room and wandered around the hotel while we waited for the others to show up. Agetoki was mad cause the sodas in the machines cost a whole koku and they were just 3 silver back home but I was like "You know, what are you gonna do."

So Sanzo got there and Tashima thanked him for the ride and said he had to hurry up and get to the Magistrate Convention and Toku said "Woah! I didn't know he was a cop."

And Agetoki said, "I still wouldn't have given him a ride."

And Sanzo didn't say anything but he went right to the room cause I think he was in a really bad mood about the whole thing.

So, skipping ahead a little bit let me just glaze over some of the highlights of the trip:

-We went to the big super Doji Mall and Sanzo and me found this really cool huge comic book store and we spent like three hours in there. I picked up all the back issues of Seven Thunders I needed. Agetoki went to the arcade but got mad cause they hadn't invented any good games yet and Toku just whined the whole time cause he left his wallet in the hotel room and Sanzo didn't want to drive him back.

-The water slide was pretty cool too. Toku couldn't swim so he just stood outside and watched like a puppy. There were some hot Crane chicks there and I think this one really liked me but I didn't get her number or anything cause I guess I figured I'd just be leaving town in a day or so anyway. Agetoki did a cannonball off the high dive in full armor.

-Sanzo's horse threw a shoe and we almost missed the White Zombie concert cause he had to call AAA and wait for them to come and fix it. Agetoki was mad cause Sanzo didn't have a spare and didn't know how to fix it himself and nobody made fun of Toku for a little while at least since he was the one with the AAA card.

-Agetoki got ahold of some sake (we were under age but we were resourceful) and got a little drunk. He wandered around the hotel asking everybody how many butts their horses had for like an hour before me and Toku found him and dragged him off to the room.

-Sanzo lost all his money to a Yasuki on a street corner playing three card monte. Toku offered to lend him some since he found his wallet and Agetoki just laughed at him the whole time. Sanzo still doesn't like it when people bring them up. Sometimes he'll say, "If you lost as much money to the Yasuki as I had, you would know why I chase death with such blind fury." But Sanzo is like that.

So anyway those are the highlights of the road trip. We got back like Sunday morning after leaving Friday night. I'd actually asked permission since my parents are pretty cool so I had no trouble and Agetoki never got punished for anything as long as he could still play football, and Sanzo lied to his mom and said that he was going to visit his grandma, but Toku couldn't think of a good excuse so he got grounded for like three months.

But here's kind of a weird epilogue to the story. I still get together with the guys once in a great, great while and last year we decided to go back down for old times sake and everything. So we were at that exact same rest stop trying to decide what to do and everything and up walks TASHIMA! Still scruffy and stinking and everything (I swear I smelled booze on his breath. Some cop.)

So Tashima says, "Hey it's you guys! You won't believe this but my horse broke down again! Can I get a ride?"

"No!" Sanzo barked, "You stink and you only gave me four koku last time! Get a ride somewhere else."

And Tashima looks kind of sad and I could tell Toku was starting to feel sorry for him then this voice says, "I will give you a ride, Unicorn."

And we all turn around and it's this tall, scary looking bald dude in a yellow kimono with tattoos and this black crap all over his hand.

Tashima says "Hey, thanks," and walks over to his horse. And the dude gives us this creepy look and gets on the horse and takes off.

"That was a scary dude!" I say, "I would never get a ride from somebody like that!"

"Yeah," Sanzo says, "I bet he shaves Tashima's head and dresses him up in leather pants and brainwashes him."

"Guys," Toku says, "I think that was a chick."

"No way," Agetoki says, looking off in the direction of the car, "That was *not* a chick."

"He had--" Toku gestured at his chest, "I'm telling you it was a chick!"

"That was *not* a chick!" Agetoki said vehemently.

"You're wrong, dude," Toku said (he'd become a little more confident since joining Toturi's Army), "That was a chick."

And I guess Agetoki didn't want to argue anymore since he just beat Toku up and got back on his horse.

But I digress. That's the story, in full. I've got lots more. We've been everywhere. Let me know if anybody has any requests.

Yasuki Garou
Crab Clan Ratling Wrangler
Annoying Bushi Clan Courtier

> Well, the only person she knows who claimed to know (Kamoko's mother's killer) is Matsu Agetoki. > That's my best bet as to where she's headed. Pity Agetoki. :) Anyone who's > survived being slapped into the wall by a demigod isn't going to be scared by the > Mounted Mustache. > Then again...

Here's a little known fact about Kamoko and Agetoki.

They used to date in high school.

That's right, I was pretty good friends with Agetoki you probably know that (although we've grown apart in the years hence) and Kamoko was in freshman p.e. with us and she was HOT!

Anyway, Agetoki was the first one to get his license that I knew then (since he got held back in sixth grade he was older and bigger than the other kids so he was a cool guy to have a friend). So he shows up one day with his license, proudly displaying his brand new cavalry trait.

And Sanzo gets all jealous since he's only got a permit and has to drive his mom's horse anyway and Toku just doen't say anything cause he was scared of Agetoki and I said, "That's a damn cool horse, dude," since I wanted a ride home and he had a bitchin' stereo.

Turns out I wasn't the only one that thought so, since Kamoko asked if she could come to which meant I had to sit in the back seat and got dropped of first. But that was cool. I mean, could you blame him?

But I digress. They date for a while and one day Agetoki comes in all mad and punches his locker and stuff and Sanzo is like "Hey what's up, Toki?" (that's what we called him back then.)

And Agetoki shrugs and he's like "Kamoko doesn't want to go out with me anymore. She says there's some "stuff" up with her family and she has to swear a vow of chastity now and everything you know.

"Harsh," Sanzo says.

"Too bad," Toku says, "She was hot. Hey, you know I think I saw her get a ride to school from Mitsu today."

And Agetoki beat Toku up.

And anyway, Agetoki walked off grumbling something about how it was all an accident and he didn't know it was her mom and stuff and I don't really know what happened but Kamoko came to school with a really nice horse the next week and she was just dating Toki for his horse anyway so I guess it wouldn't have worked out in the long run.

So that's the back story as I remember it. Hope that enlightens you guys.

Yasuki Garou Crab Clan Ratling Wrangler.

---Neil Laughlin wrote:
> > > I'd add to the Empire (fka Toturi) side:
> Kitsu Toju (interferes with the Emperor)
> Kitsu Okura (ignores the Emperor)
> Matsu Turi (ignores the Emperor)
> Matsu Goemon (Toturi's Army)

I do.

Then again, you could say I have inside information on this sort of thing.

I remember one time in school when I went on a camping trip for Spring Break with my friends Toku, Sanzo, and Matsu Agetoki. We loaded up the horses and headed out to the Shinomen Forest for three days of camping splendor at the Happy Naga Lodge and Resort. Of course, we couldn't afford a room in the lodge so we just sort of snuck into the woods out back and set up a tent.

So anyway we had tried going fishing earlier that day but we were using the live bait Sanzo had bought from his Grandpa and it didn't work and Toku fell in the lake and kept shivering and complaining he was getting pnuemonia and I could see Agetoki was getting in a progressively worse and worse mood since Sanzo had also forgotten the weenies.

I decided to try to lighten the mood a little bit.

"So, guys," I said, "If you were stuck on a desert island and you could only bring one thing with you, what would it be?"

"This, like, doesn't include clothes, right?" Sanzo asked nervously.

"Yeah, sure, whatever Sanzo," I said.

"Okay, then I'd have to say my horse," Sanzo said.

"Your horse?" Agetoki scoffed, "But your horse sucks! I barely even consider that thing to have the cavalry trait!"

"It's better than Tsume's," Sanzo shrugged, "At least it works. Garou and Toku don't even have a horse. I like my horse."

"Fair enough," I said, "What about you, Agetoki?"

"Kamoko," he said with a goofy grin, "Get her stuck with me on an island for ten minutes and we'll just see how long that 'vow of chastity' lasts."

None of us deemed it worthy to comment on that one, though Sanzo seemed impressed.

We sat in silence for a moment.

"Toku?" Sanzo asked.

"Huh?" Toku asked, snapping his head. He'd been staring vacantly into the fire for several minutes, his big fluffy My Little Kappa Blanket (Agetoki gave him some trouble for that) wrapped around him.

"The question, Toku," Sanzo said.

"What question?" Toku asked.

Sanzo rolled his eyes. "If you could have any one thing on a desert island with you, what would it be?"

"My beloved Emperor," Toku said without hesitation.

We all just kind of looked at Toku.

"The Emperor?!?" I said.

"Yes," Toku replied.

"WHY???" Agetoki scoffed.

"Then I could show him my true loyalty and devotion!" Toku beamed.

"Do you find Hantei the 38th attractive, Toku?" Sanzo asked.

"Um. No," Toku glanced around nervously.

"Then why do you want him alone on an island with you?" Sanzo smirked, poking the fire with a stick.

"Uh..." Toku said.

"Dammit Toku," Agetoki grumbled, folding his arms and looking at the fire, "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"At least I didn't pick my bowlegged ex-girlfriend," Toku mumbled quietly.

"What was that?" Agetoki said, looking up.

"Um. NOthing," Toku said, not meeting eye contact.

Agetoki leaped over the fire, wrapped Toku up in his blanket, and dragged him off into the woods.

Sanzo and I sat quietly and talked about the weather, trying to ignore the muffled yelps of pain and thuds of something large hitting a tree trunk. They continued for several minutes.

So, from this I can make an assumption about what side Agetoki would have taken (I lost track of him on the Day of Thunder - a story for another time).

After all, Kamoko was in the Army of the Seven Thunders.

But then again...

so was Toku.

Well, something to think about.

Thanks for your time.

Yasuki Garou
Crab Clan Ratling Wrangler
ABC Courtier